Quiet Resilience

by Katie (she/her) Alabama, United States

My name is Katie and in November of 2021 my life flipped upside down.

“You have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis”. 

It was like riding a rollercoaster all the way to the top and free falling to the bottom. But that wasn’t all.

“You also have epilepsy, narcolepsy, POTS, and Common Variable Immunodeficiency.”

I had waited a year for this appointment. All the tests I went through to get me here. I had been suffering in silence for 7 years only to be told devastating news. 

Most people don’t know that there are types of Multiple Sclerosis. The type of MS I was diagnosed with, PPMS, means I never get a break from the disease. It’s a constant progression upwards. I started to lose my vision in 2017 and my mobility in 2020. By 2021, I used a wheelchair. 

I kept all of this a secret from everyone except my husband (who I lived with). I didn’t want anyone to worry about me or ask intrusive questions, mostly because I couldn’t give them a straight answer. I hit everyone with the news of my health, the day I was officially diagnosed. I had to explain over and over again that I have lived this life for years. In silence.

No one knew this was happening to me. I’m an accountant working on my PhD as well as a pet mom. I garden and paint in my free time. Everyone thought I was okay. 

But I wasn’t. I opted to navigate my health challenges in silence to avoid having to go over and over again what exactly was “wrong” with me.

After diagnosis, I got married and had a wedding. I started school again. My husband and I bought a house. 

I was shocked that life did keep going. The world kept spinning. My life wasn’t over despite a label.

I want my story to be shared to those who are also struggling in silence. Those who have unsupportive families or friends. I want them to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Things DO get better.

Most of all, I want them to know they aren’t alone. I know that loneliness you feel when you are doing it all yourself. 

If you’re knocked back down, get up and fight again. You deserve the best in this life. Do not succumb to the circumstances. Fight against all odds.

You owe it to yourself.